The truth has set me free, I am an alcoholic. I don't look at it in a negative way - I'm relieved! I now am taking responsibility for my well-being. Sobriety so far as in a month long journey, but I am celebrating everyday and not discounting any length of time because it's cherished. For the past five years I've debated whether I had a problem with drinking. For the most part I appeared as a party girl, going out to the bars every weekend, mostly blackout by the end of the night, but lets face it, that was the culture. I stopped drinking for a months, to figure out what was going on. None of my friends or family understood; and they told me that they don't think I have a problem. They just thought that I should "cut back on the amount of drinks" when I did it. Easy enough right? Well for someone who isn't a problem drinker. I finally hit a point where the truth was in my face like a pie - I had memories and flashbacks of all the times that I drank and blacked out, especially the most recent waking up on a sidewalk near the bar. I knew this was no accident, no party phase I was going through. I am an alcoholic and I can not drink. Accepting that truth actually lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. I felt like I was like a gay person that was coming out of the closet for the very first time, I was finally being authentic with myself. Now sobriety for me is much more than not drinking. It means healing those parts of myself that I didn't face. Sobriety is an emotional and spiritual journey towards inner peace and growth. It's becoming of you, who you truly are. You can not have a solid foundation if you are not building it on solid ground. A few days after my 31st birthday I gave myself the gift of choosing sobriety.
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